What is a toxic relationship? How to know that your partner does nothing but hurts your feelings? Can you call your relationships toxic if they don’t make you happy and don’t enrich you? Not quite. The toxic relationships are those which lead to psychological problems, mental and physical disorders. And how to have a successful relationship?
People spend years to get out of toxic relationships and years to realize that their relationships are toxic. What are the signs of a toxic relationship? There are several standard symptoms.
6 Symptoms Of Toxic Relationships
You feel like you are a Chinese worker at a fake Apple factory, working one’s socks off, while your partner seems to be quite happy with your relationship, fulfilling one’s childhood dreams, having fun, developing a career, spending money. Get to know whether you partner is in a relationship with you or with those comfortable conditions you are creating. For instance, tell your partner that you are going to leave your current well-paid work and substitute it with another one. Of course, the salary will be smaller but you will get the opportunity to unlock your talents there. Another useful test is to tell your partner that you cannot do the housework all by your own anymore while the one is relaxing in front of the monitor. The reaction will be more expressive than the words.
2. Making fun of your partner
“He is a kind person. He simply has a wry sense of humor.” How many excuses are we ready to make for someone we are living with (even though the one kills your mood with some mean jokes on a daily basis and starts unreasonable quarrels). The thing is that such a relationship can hardly be healthy. According to a recent study these toxic behaviors, as well as constant social stress, may cause an enhanced production of the two protein types that provoke inflammations and metabolic disease. Constant toxic behavior relationships with your partner or relatives can cause a depression, heart problems, and even oncology. Is it an adequate price for being together with your significant other?
3. Being unable to talk your problems over
If your partner turns a deaf ear to your suggestions to change something, it means he is comfortable with the present posture of affairs. However, if you still feel that there is a problem in your relationship, it proves that your couple lacks harmony – while one of you enjoys it, the other one feels awkward. The more you ignore the problem, the more toxic your relationship becomes. The fact that you are unable to get through to your toxic partner will make you feel desperate and boxed in.
4. Self-hating and feeling unhappy
One of the worst outcomes of toxic relationships is the growing dissatisfaction with yourself. If you are constantly living with someone who underestimates you, eventually, you will start thinking that your partner is right, and you are an untalented, gray, and pathetic person. For example, the researchers found that many girls who suffer from anorexia hear an “inner voice” that directs their actions. This inner voice often prevents their recovery, leading them to an illusory “conversation” on gloomy and joyless topics. Psychologists decided to find out what this voice actually talks to them about – for this purpose, they studied letters, diaries and literary works (stories and poems) of patients. They were surprised to learn that they were discussing relationships (not only with a partner but with a mother, close relatives or girlfriends). These toxic relationships serve as the cause of anorexia among women.
5. Being unable to think about your future as a couple
The most prominent peculiarity of a healthy and successful relationship is the feeling of stability and confidence in your partner: even if your partner is a sailor and you are apart most of the time, you can still plan things for the future. While toxic relationship does not allow you to plan your future together. All you think about is your past – you are trying to find an excuse for being together, searching for some warm memories. Feeling the fear thinking about your future as a couple is nothing but a sign of a toxic relationship.
What does prevent people from letting go of toxic relationships? What are the signs of a toxic partner? It is difficult to get out of your toxic relationship even though you realize you are in a tight corner. The reason is the fear of loneliness. A few women choose to remain alone rather than venture into another potentially violent relationship. Most of us use the fear of loneliness as a tool to agree on just another condition to stay in this relationship. Besides, the more dependent you are, the more insolent your partner becomes.
Signs Of A Toxic Partner And Signs Of “Poisoning” With Toxic Relationships
If you have already been sucked into a relationship with a toxic partner, you can experience some specific feelings from time to time. The feelings often remind the symptoms of poisoning or intoxication (metaphorically speaking):
– You feel that you are getting involved in the drama created by your partner, and you are overreacting to it;
– You might be scared or feel uncomfortable being with your partner;
– You feel exhausted or angry during or after your communication;
– You can feel shame or guilt about yourself (as if you are doing something wrong);
– You catch yourself on the fact that you constantly correct something, remake for this person, show concern, save him/her but it never ends and something new occurs all the time;
– A person does not understand the word “No”, or does not understand that “No” can serve as a complete sentence and you don’t have to explain anything else;
– When you communicate, you may have the feeling that you are constantly walking through the minefield;
– You forget about yourself, about your interests, values , and desires, putting in priority the interests and values of a toxic partner;
– You turn off emotionally (stop responding to your emotions);
– You feel that you are being controlled by your partner (or you find yourself trying to over-control other people);
– Your partner is not really interested in your opinion. You never win, whether it is a dispute, discussion, or plans for a vacation. A toxic person must win because he is always right.
How to Get Away from a Toxic Relationship
Before moving on to active action to end toxic relationships, it’s better to prepare for this. Especially if you managed to spend a long time with a person. After all, however, when people spend time together, they develop a habit, a community of interests. And you need to do something with this. In addition, you need to adjust yourself to the next steps. Honesty and courage are required of you. Just follow our advice and everything will turn out!
Preparing For a Toxic Relationship Break
1. Recognize that you have a toxic relationship. To break off toxic relationships, you must first acknowledge their existence. It is very easy to ignore signs and continue to live everyday life in unhealthy relationships, but no one should suffer so much. Everyone deserves happiness. Write down the warning signals inherent, in your opinion, to your relationship. Analyze the list to get a clear picture of what is actually happening. Share with your close friend or family member your anxiety to learn the view from the side. Remember: you have the strength to change everything and break this relationship.
2. Organize a place to go after the break. Ask a trusted friend or family member to shelter you for a while after the relationship breaks. The presence of someone native to you, who can provide support, will help you feel better after your decision will become a reality. If any kind of violence has taken place in your relationship, it is very important to tell someone about your plans so that this person helps you to ensure your safety after the break.
3. Develop an action plan. To successfully break the relationship, you need to come up with a plan in advance. This will help you get through everything easier. The most successful plan is one that contains a specific implementation of intentions and/or formulations. “If I start missing a former partner, I’ll call a friend to go somewhere to have fun.” “If I start to regret my decision, I’ll write a list of reasons of our break.” “If I get depressed after the break, I’ll ask for help.”
It`s Time to Get Away From Toxic Relationship
1. Plan the time of the conversation with the partner. Prepare to break the relationship. The break in presence of a large crowd of people can be awkward. Think about meeting in a quiet public place to avoid confrontation.
2. Tell your boyfriend or your girlfriend that the relationship is over. Be straight and frank. If the relationship is broken, it is best to immediately understand your intentions. Tell the partner about your feelings in person, and not with the help of a phone call or message. This will help you go through this process and show all the seriousness of your intentions. Make sure you stick to the facts, and not follow the emotions: “Lately, our relationship has become a burden to me, so it’s time to put an end to what is happening between us.” Present the news in a calm, confident voice, so that your second half understood the seriousness of your intention: “I’m leaving you.” If you are afraid of aggression from your partner as a response, you should not meet in person or one-on-one. In this case, the best option would be a phone call.
3. Henceforth, keep a distance from each other. Once you broke off the relationship, you should stay away from the former partner. In such a situation, despite all that signs of toxic relationships, it is often difficult to release it morally. It will be easier for you if you break off contacts with this person so that there is no temptation to go back. Remove the former partner from the friends of all social networks. Delete the person’s phone number. Do not go to have fun where you can meet with your ex. Ask your friends not to mention this person in conversation so that it’s easier to keep a distance.
4. Surround yourself with positive people. After the breakdown of unhealthy relationships, it is very important that the right people are there. You need to surround yourself with those who help you recover and will remind you that you did the right thing.
5. No regrets! When the relationship ends, it is very easy to fall into the trap of regrets and thoughts that you will not find anyone better than your ex. Remember that no matter how often you recall the past, it will not change anything. Remember all that toxic relationships signs, their ugliness. And believe us, your next partner will be much better!
Remember: if the signs of toxic relationships are too clear, if you feel yourself BAD with this person – do not waste time. This is your only life and you have no right to be unhappy! Act and you will handle with this difficult, but not deadly situation!