Dating a Shy Girl: General Advice


Dating a shy girl can be a truly tangled and sometimes even frustrating “adventure”, particularly if you don’t know the real roots of shyness of that person. In dating a shy woman one major drawback lies: you may not always be able to “read” the signs on her face if she is actually into you.

With the better part of girls being excessively cheeky and emancipated, thus without any fear of expressing their feelings and wishes, a great deal of men dream of dating a timid girl. Shy girls always stay pretty “unsolved” thereby much desirable for the most men. One can be said for sure – in the era of flourishing feminism, a man just seeks for dating a soft and quiet lady, but we are definitely aware of this problem’s severity. Unluckily, the riddle of shy girls leads to the unavoidable problem: dating shy girls demands the knowledge of specific rules. That is exactly why we would like you to check out our top of the most effective tips for dating a shy girl. First of all, some general tips for building a durable relationship with a shy girl.

Tips for a First Date with a Shy Girl

#1 Find the right approach to her

Dating is enormously hard for the shy girls. Thus, don’t go into the frontal attack asking her straight about everything you’re interested in. That’s not an interrogation! This is the first and the most significant rule of dating a shy girl. Begin with simply saying “hi” to her with the gentlest intonation on a regular basis. Every time you pass her by, try to make an eye contact with her. But don’t do it in the creepy way, as it can easily scare her off. Whenever you meet her, call her by name. It will be a proof that you distinguish her from the crowd of ordinary passers-by. If you’re not that kind of person who is naturally quite dull or outgoing, it might also be helpful just to take your time and try to take no notice of her timidity or awkwardness. One of the silliest ways to make a shy girl feel uncomfortable is to mention that she is not much of a talker. Pointing it out just draws more attention to the fact and as a result, pushes a person away from you. Over some time, she will start feeling better around you because her fears of unknowing which words to say will pass away. Being extremely patient and not forcing her to talk will allow her to become more self-confident.

shy-girl-1#2 Get closer step by step

The best way to warm someone up to is to gradually become closer. Don’t expect a girl to open up to you right now, it may take her some time to feel comfortable enough to communicate with your family and friends, and you first and foremost. She will eventually feel at home around you if you go on with understanding and patience.

#3 Don’t dwell on her shyness

Never even try to make fun of her being timorous. She doesn’t talk too much with other people – just accept it, don’t try to sort it out. Shy people are often pointed at being shy all the time. If you want to build a long-lasting and successful relationship with a shy girl, you must show her that you’re comfortable with her being shy. Remember, you fell for her because she was shy, so there’s not much point in complaining about her being the way she is.

#4 Learn a little more about her

Social networks will serve you really well if you desire to learn a bit more about your shy crush. Shy girls are not much talkative, so you need to learn something about her beforehand. But make sure you don’t mention having visited her account during the conversation. She may accidentally think you are spying on her and will probably become more withdrawn. And that’s not going to work in your favor for sure.

#5 Make her comfortable around you

If you want to create a solid and long-lasting relationship with a shy woman, you must make her relaxed and comfortable around you. The best way to do that is to show that you’re funny. If you are funny (but not ridiculous though) she will forget about her shyness and will be more open with you all the time. However, you mustn’t go too far because being funny in a stupid way is not the best way to gain her trust and make her feel comfy with you. Yet, in certain situations, showing that you’re a bigger goofball of you two will free her from her shyness.

#6 Never forget to tell her how pretty she looks

As a matter of fact, even the boldest women absolutely love it when you compliment their appearance. With shy girls, saying compliments gives them a powerful confidence boost. Which is something she badly requires in huge doses if she is to be the sort of girl you ultimately want her to be. So never cast aside any lucky opportunity to compliment your girlfriend.

#7 If you have to criticize, do it very softly

It would be definitely better if you don’t have to do it at all. But whatever, I guess since nobody’s perfect, there might happen occasions when you have to set things right. Make sure you are not too harsh when correcting a girl. They have extremely fragile personalities. Accordingly, it is easy for them to become very enclosed and frustrated. And be careful that the jokes you make doesn’t come off like you are mocking or teasing your girl.

#8 You’re always an initiator

Get used to the fact that she is not going to make the first move, it will take a long time to open up or reveal her feelings to you. With her, you will always be the one who starts things. What’s the best part is that she won’t mind you having your way most time. If you are someone who wants things to happen fast, she is not the right match. If you are patient, it will all be worth as a result.

dating#9 Make consistent introductions

If she’s already comfortable around you but locks in when you are about to acquaint her with the new people, begin with meeting her with a minimum number of friends simultaneously. Hanging out with a new bunch of friends can be freaking out for even the most confident person, so before bringing her with you to your best buddy’s birthday party, make sure that she knows at least a couple of your friends which will be present at the party so that she will feel more at ease. And don’t be disappointed if she doesn’t want to companion you, specifically if you’ve been dating for a short period of time.

#10 Private conversations only

If you badly want to date a girl and she’s too shy, you need to learn that tete-a-tete conversation is the best way to make her chatty a little bit more than usual. So, there’s no point in facing her and asking on a date in front of a big crowd as she may consider your sincere offer as an attempt to make fun of her.

#11 Learn to listen to her

The capability to be a good listener can be a great advantage of yours and if you wonder, it’s not the same as hearing. If you are out on a date and trying to get your lady open up, ask her about her hobbies and things you know she’s literally in love with. She may just require that little impulse to get more outgoing, and if talking about her hobby is what will do the trick, just make sure you are all ears. Being an attentive listener will encourage her to open up quicker and chat all along, so eventually she will gain your trust. And if you prove that you’re listening, getting her to be silent might become your next problem. If you take her out with your friends, come up with a topic you’re absolutely sure will get her into the conversation. Providing her the things she will talk about will encourage her to socialize among a big crowd of people.

#12 A shy girl needs time to be on her own

The last but not the least advice. Shy people are mainly introverts, so be ready that she will periodically require time to be alone with her thoughts. This is the rule you must just accept just like 2×2=4 if you want to keep on dating a shy girl.

Well, now you’ve learnt some basic principles, so let’s move on.

How to ask a shy girl out for a date

#1 Don’t move too fast

Hurrying up can make her become timid with you again, sending you both back in time to where you were starting. The optimal option is to proceed cautiously or ask your crush if she’s convenient alongside you and whether or not she’s ready to hold hands or going to a cinema. Once again, it all depends on how shy the girl is and her motives for being shy. She may unfold to you quickly or she may remain shy for a long time. Bear in mind that your relations will take a long time to evolve. Conversation is the key to success. With you rushing things, she might end off not knowing how to act in that situation. This can end up with her evading you, ignoring your messages and phone calls or deceiving about stuff just to keep you off from her. These are the signals that you’re moving too fast or that she’s not really your half.

tips for dating a shy girl#2 Plan the first date

You need to plan ahead. You can’t ask a shy girl out on a date out of the blue, as she will most likely find an excuse to avoid it. You must already know when she’s free so you know the perfect time for a date. Much like when you ask her out, it’s a good idea to go in a place which is not really crowded. Showing any form of affection in a public spot will probably make her feel embarrassed and awkward. The ideal first date must be somewhere where you can spend time together, without the annoying gazes to make her feel more nervous. Going for a walk, a state park or a quiet and cozy café are the good ideas. An excellent way to impress a shy girl is to present her some small gifts such as an ice cream or a fancy bouquet of wildflowers.

#3 Ask her out as simple as you can

If your conversations are getting longer and longer, it’s the best time to ask her out for a date in the simplest way: Would you like to go out with me?

#4 Be prepared for one-on-one activities

Shy people hardly ever prefer hanging out in big companies. And there’s no point in blaming them for that. They feel awkwardly in the crowded places. They feel it suffocating to be in the center of attention. That’s why they mainly lead a quite solitary way of life. If you want to be with a shy girl, get ready that the better part of your activities will require only two of you. And if you take your girl to the party, don’t be surprised when she will do her best to keep low profile.

#5 Have as much fun together as possible

Turn for some dynamic activities when dating. Although she is a shy girl, it doesn’t imply that you have to be a conservative puritan. Go get some fun together! It can be a great idea to invite her to have a bike ride or something like that. Positive and fun dates will make her more outgoing with you thus giving a green light to your subsequent relationship development.

Final thoughts to summarize the whole topic

Dating a timid woman is lot simpler than you may possibly imagine. Basically, you have to learn some basic rules provided above to know how to ask out and date a shy girl. Dating a shy girl not much differs from dating any other girl, except for you’ll have to spend a lot more time making sure she is comfortable and that you’re not rushing things.

The first few months or weeks (depending on the girl) will be slow flowing until the girl starts warming up to you. After she is ready, you will soon find out more things about her personality and will probably figure out the reasons of why she was so shy at first.

All you have to do is to ease any of the tension she might be feeling when overcoming her modesty and be there to show her your support and care. This is the key in dating a shy girl and maintaining the relationship. Be open to her and honest and she’ll do the same to you.

A small note from my personal experience: I’ve actually learnt that some people just make you feel more comfortable than the others. If holding someone’s hand or being close to them gives either of you any inconvenience or makes you feel nervous, you may want to reckon if this is the right person you’ve chosen. I’ve had one girlfriend who I never could feel comfortable with and another girlfriend who I felt instantly comfortable with.

There’s no point in upholding any relationship if you’re not totally satisfied or comfortable with it. It may seem like a bad note to leave on, but there is “plenty of fish in the sea” and the one person who will make you feel comfortable and loved may just be out there waiting for you.

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